Being muslim
As a non-religious, secular soul I have always looked for four things in a religion, one is comfort, the second make it as unintelligible as possible, third make it fast and fourth if I’ve gone to the trouble of showing up at a mosque, synagogue, church, hippie commune, schoolboard meeting or really any place that involves large groups of people I don’t have time for the middle man
Islam.
(1) Carpeted floors, most other religions got it wrong when they decided civilizing your society meant introducing painful wooden benches to pray on. Maybe the Puritans were onto something with no pain, no gain, but this certainly is not the time to prove the point. Doesn’t exactly encourage the best discussion with God, if your thinking, fuck this hurts. Does anyone know who began and when they began the use of wooden benches? If they had Darwin awards back then, well (fill in the blank)
(2) Can’t speak arabic, can’t understand a word being said, they’re something about saying en’shallah that is much more acceptable to me than “Praise the lord” or “God is Great”. Try it out, seriously much cooler sounding. Why did the Christians get rid of Latin, didn’t they know people would actually start to pay attention to what’s being said and say wait a minute. Knowing is half the battle, the other half is well dealing with all the crap that comes up from everyone knowing.
(3) The fast food of the religion industry, 15 minutes in and out, no Pastor Bob telling you about how to live your life, no more sermons, god I hate the Corinthians.
(4) And if I had been religious, why would I go talk to the Priest about an issue, who consults the Bishop about issues, who then consults the Archbishop who consults the Cardinal who then consults the Pope, who then consults God. If there is one thing I am pretty certain of if God exists, he is not a bureaucrat. Therefore I deduce that Catholicism is well wrong and a religion such as Islam where you talk to straight to the man/woman/thing/entity seems to be going the right way.
So in hindsight, I realize that I have told you all the wonderful things about Islam from an anti-christian standpoint. But it really is a wonderful religion on its own, I mean I’m all for virgins.
Islam.
(1) Carpeted floors, most other religions got it wrong when they decided civilizing your society meant introducing painful wooden benches to pray on. Maybe the Puritans were onto something with no pain, no gain, but this certainly is not the time to prove the point. Doesn’t exactly encourage the best discussion with God, if your thinking, fuck this hurts. Does anyone know who began and when they began the use of wooden benches? If they had Darwin awards back then, well (fill in the blank)
(2) Can’t speak arabic, can’t understand a word being said, they’re something about saying en’shallah that is much more acceptable to me than “Praise the lord” or “God is Great”. Try it out, seriously much cooler sounding. Why did the Christians get rid of Latin, didn’t they know people would actually start to pay attention to what’s being said and say wait a minute. Knowing is half the battle, the other half is well dealing with all the crap that comes up from everyone knowing.
(3) The fast food of the religion industry, 15 minutes in and out, no Pastor Bob telling you about how to live your life, no more sermons, god I hate the Corinthians.
(4) And if I had been religious, why would I go talk to the Priest about an issue, who consults the Bishop about issues, who then consults the Archbishop who consults the Cardinal who then consults the Pope, who then consults God. If there is one thing I am pretty certain of if God exists, he is not a bureaucrat. Therefore I deduce that Catholicism is well wrong and a religion such as Islam where you talk to straight to the man/woman/thing/entity seems to be going the right way.
So in hindsight, I realize that I have told you all the wonderful things about Islam from an anti-christian standpoint. But it really is a wonderful religion on its own, I mean I’m all for virgins.
posted by redseastation at 11:02 AM
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